Greetings! Tis I, the original Night King, only dragon glass cannot harm me, my friends, oh no. Only the rejection from the one I love can defeat me, and sadly, that seems to be happening as I type this miserable column. Look how much Euron had to go through just to smash an already pregnant, on-the-way-out Queen. May the Seven have mercy, holy mother of Albright! I suppose I can’t criticize the situation too harshly, for I find myself in a similar predicament at the time of this writing; sending poetry, gifts, showing public displays of affection via instagram, seemingly all for naught. Euron really went full on Fred Durst and did it all for the Nookie, for he must know Cersei’s chances of keeping control of the iron throne are about as slim as George R.R. Martin finishing the Winds of Winter before ole boy kicks the bucket. You’ve got to be realistic about these things. Shoot, and his manipulation even paid off, whereas my situation is true love and I just don’t have what it takes to win her over. Maybe I lost my touch, or maybe I need to go back to the old me. Either way, Euron opened my eyes like I was the Three-Eyed Raven on molly this Sunday eve, and I sense some changes in my life will occur by the time your Sunday Funday given bloodshot eyes read this.
Below, I’ll touch on parts of the season premiere that stood out to me and also talk some of what we’ve seen so far in the first couple weeks of fantasy baseball. Both happen to be some of my absolute favorite things and I believe I was the FIRST fantasy writer to ever combine the two subjects, but who’s really keeping track……..I hate everyone. Let’s do this!